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And somehow they always manage to be expensive on top of that! For half the price, you’re better off with a smoothie made from actual ingredients that don’t get pumped out of a soap dispenser. Who is fooling anyone here? Frozen alcoholic drinks are typically composed of three parts – a ton of crushed ice, the cheapest possible liquor behind the bar, and an absurdly over-sweetened syrup designed to emulate the taste of some fruit and completely mask the terrible alcohol that went in before it. 5) Virgin Margarita/Daquiri/Piña Colada OKAY YOU GET IT THEY’RE ALL SMOOTHIES You would love to believe that you are going to really make some freshly-squeezed lemonade and mix it with a batch of just-brewed iced tea but let’s be honest – you’re just going to be grabbing a tall boy at the end of the Durfee’s line to round out your $8 lunch swipe – nonetheless, it’s hard to go wrong with a drink named after a champion. The downside to its complexity is that it’s not the most friendly drink to be composed in a common room (note: if your suitemate is unfazed by this limitation, I’d be looking to preserve that relationship for the rest of your time at Yale), but thankfully it feels like on every street corner there’s a food cart that’s trying to sell you their version. Is it really unclear how a drink primarily composed of ground rice ends up tasting so good? Completely. The only thing that could make it better is if New Haven was also home to one of those fried chicken restaurants also named after the King, but alas, Yale wasn’t built at a New Jersey Turnpike rest stop. If you feel like the time for Shirley Temples has passed you by, then perhaps it is time to take a taste of the King of Cowboys, who has traded in the traditional ginger ale and orange juice base of the Shirley Temple for cola, still finished with grenadine and maraschino cherries. But the Shirley Temple has a life expectancy – how long in your life can you continue to safely order a drink named for a child star? If you’re young enough that you’re still getting ID’d, you’re in the clear, so enjoy them while you can. It was a childhood standby when you wanted to feel fancy when out to dinner, and guess what – it’s still just as good. The queen (or perhaps princess?) of non-alcoholic cocktails, the Shirley Temple has it all – flavor, fizz, faux-sophistication.
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Here are nine drinks that might not have any alcohol in them, but will often have people wishing they could swap for what you’re having: 1) Shirley Temple While there is plenty of drinking that goes on at college, rarely is alcohol the star of the show – even on campus, it’s hard to find people who could call themselves devoted fans of “premium” light beer or frighteningly cheap hard liquor. 9 Alcohol-Free Drinks that are Probably Better than What Everyone’s Drinking at the Party
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